I'm having an emotional baggage right now. It bothers me a lot. It haunts me on my sleep. Feels like a scar planted on my life forever.
I feel alone. I feel like I don't belong here. Seems like I couldn't turn to no one with the people that surrounds me. I feel like no one appreciates my efforts. Even the people I deeply care, they just don't trust me. I never imagined life would be this so harsh to me. My parents think I'm so clumsy. Ill-skilled. That's why when they have to ask for something, they will leave it to my sister, who is more skilled than I do. Sometimes, I ask myself if I was really their daughter. Sometimes, I prefer to stay at my Lola's room just to have a peace solidarity. I just let my eyes pour out all the tears that I kept on holding. Cause I can no longer take it. It weakens my soul, thus, downgrading my confidence. When my sister commits a mistake, my parents would reprimand me instantly. It causes much heartaches cause whenever I tell the truth, they would just pretend deaf and leave all the matters to me.
What was really perplexing is that my mom didn't let me pursue my career on UNIVERSITY OF THE PHILIPPINES-BAGUIO. Now, who wouldn't be so mad about that? You had the chance on your palms then someone whisked them away. I did even cry because of that. My hopes and dreams, they went down the drain.
How I wish, my parents would understand. Despite of all my clumsiness, I'm still willing to practice and unclog them off my system. They don't know how much it affects me all the time they would scold me for a small wrongdoing. Every night, I would ask for God's intercession and even speak to Him about my problems. He is the only one I could turn on to. He listens and never let me down. He knows my capabilities and my weaknesses. He's the only one that understands me. Thanks to Him and to my blog that listens.
Have all the best of love. Break-free.- Joreina